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5 Personality Types that Exists as Being A Hipster

Before I actually move on to the article, this is just a blog entry that serves two specific purposes.

1. I’ve been surrounded by this growing culture and I wanted to share my amazing observations

2. I am still not converted into a writer for Cracked. (Still waiting grrr)

Anyway let’s take a crack at it. 

As time passes, adolescents search for ways to be completely different from each other for they are still in the stage of searching for a unique identity. Due to what the majority wants eventually everyone starts trying to imitate fads and create it as their own way of living just to make them feel good or feel worse about themselves. Meaning we’re are all doomed to be the same person in the office cubicle answering emails because no matter what we do, we will always have that ridiculous point of view that’s very the same and we see it as something completely different. 

Music is no different. They create these said cultures and create fads or creatures like Justin Bieber and horribly mutated RnB called Hip Hop. Being Hipster is one of them. Yet they’re the most interesting one since their standards of being one is very confusing and concrete in the same time. I’m sure after observing a lot of them here are the concrete standards of being one.

1. Once you call yourself a hipster, you’re no longer hipster (WTF)

2. Indie music is the ONLY genre you should listen to. Occasional Vintage music is also recommended.

3. Thick rimmed eye glasses with or without lenses can give out the message that says: “Hey I’m hipster” (With that breaking rule 1, that’s what I mean by confusing)

4. Go against the mass, listen to obscure music, watch obscure television series, watch obscure movies, play obscure video games. Be as obscure as everything you surround yourself with. (Seriously why?)

5. Don’t wear anything simple for casual days, but make sure it won’t be as extreme as glam rock fashion. (Although for some weird reason David Bowie is their god of some sort)

6. When buying a motor cycle the only brand you can get are Vespas or Stellas. Catch you with a Harley, you’re no longer hipster.  

That’s the general rules that I have seen so far and it still does create a blurry picture of what they really are. They exist but they don’t consider their existence as a hispter at all. So it is up to us, the people who ain’t hipster, to point at these very distinguishable individuals. So what are they really like? So here are my 5 Personality Types that Exists as Being a Hipster. 

(NOTE: I’m sure that no one will be offended. If they do admit their selves to be exactly what they are, then it will not apply. *Check rule one*) 

(Another Note: This list will be arranged from not bad to worst)

5. The Unknowingly Hipster (The only true Hipster)

These are the people who follow the trend, but have no idea that they are in the said culture. Let’s say a friend would usually appreciate what hipsters do; like Indie bands and David Bowie, but they have no idea at all that they are in the culture. They just happen to dress the same way and like the same things that hipsters do. They exist and they usually don’t believe in various statuses. They like what they like. Basically they just don’t give a damn of what other people think.

How do they Look like?: Simple. Nothing too eye catching.

4. The Artistic Hipster (Hipster in Nature)

Artists in nature. They appreciate what hipsters like because it’s really in their nature. They are the ones who are very in touch with the artsy and the fartsy that comes along with it. Creating hidden messages on their paintings or Satan worship when conspiracy theorists start revving up the backmasker. They are the ones who will be recruited by various Indie band starters, and usually would come up with ideas for songs and metaphors that would only make sense to them. Very talented and inspired these people are. I’m sure one of them has created the Nyan Cat.

How do they Look like?: Simple and different at times. Often seen with a paint brush or an F-holed electric guitar. If ever they use the bass, they will play actual scales for chords. 

3. Just-following-the-trend Hipster (Try Hard Hipster)

These are the ones I find very annoying. They literally force the crap out of themselves to be hipster. These are the ones I’m very sure of that has broken the first rule several times already. These could have been the people who forced themselves to be depressed to follow an old culture that existed back in 2007. (Oh the emo days) I’ve seen these types of people trying to get into the abyss of endless obscurity but sure ask them this. 

You: “Hey what bands do you listen to?”

JFTT-Hipster : “Oh I listen to Morning Teleportation”

You: “What songs do you recommend?” 

(Expected answer from a real Hipster: Oh you might wanna check Boom Puma, Crystalline, Daydream Electric, Expanding Anyway. Oh there is also this band bla bla bla bla *Oh trust me guys it will go on and on and on and on and on and you will never have the enough time to relate*)

But JFTT-Hipster will say: Go for Expanding Anyway, (you can hear Justin Bieber playing on his earphones though)

How do they look like?: Errmmmm thicked rimmed eye glasses, bright plad polos. Red Chuck Taylors. 

2. The Follower Hipster (The Obsessed Disciple) 

This is what I call the evolution of the JFTT-Hipster. The FH. The JFTT-hipster will arrive to the point of getting obsessed of their status and will do whatever it takes to be as cool as the (Number 1 in the List) Hipster. Hipster, being a status in reality, is usually considered as something cool nowadays when you’re in the early to late adolescent stage of life. (Since there is nothing much to rebel against anymore asides the innocent mainstream) Like what I said earlier, kids will strive to grab an identity that is completely different. Yes being hipster is very different, but truth be told everybody is finding ways to be hipster. Therefore, it ain’t different at all. 

These types of hipsters are usually found right next to (number 1 in the List) hipster. Sadly this type of hipster is just a desperate saying that “I would do anything to be cool” but in truth, they would live a life of a lie, being a poser slave to growing and dying fads. I mean, what happened to the Emo generation? See. Same ass cycle all over again, the people just get weirder until they actually notice.

How do they look like?:  Overgrown beards. Outrageous mustaches. Fedoras. Reall really bright plad shirts. A Beatles shirt. Skin tight jeans. Thick rimmed glasses with grade despite being 20:20 in vision. 

1. The One (Superiority Complex Overload Hipster)

These guys have achieved the highest obsession to be as simple as number 5. They have acquired 16GB worth of Indie music and Indie movies on their iPods all desperately downloaded from torrent sites. Now these hipsters are very believable and sound very smart to believe in. DON’T FALL FOR IT. If you do, you might end up as JFTT-Hipster. Their overwhelming Superiority Complex makes that stupid illusion that being hipster is so damn cool, but in order to do so you must be just as good as him. Yes, they create an aura just as evil as SARS. How to spot these nimrods? Basically they are very influential and they brag about the band he created (even so obviously he tries to be the main talent but his own material is crap and plays one noted bass notes or creates covers on the internet without having the effort of looking for a good condenser mic) So don’t fall for their tricks. They have that mindset of “I’m hipster there for my (INSERT ANYTHING HERE) is better than everyone else)

Being hipster is cool in a way, but it gets very controlling at some point. Culture yourselves responsibly. It’s not always being better than everybody else.